The Mall

I suppose I should take it as one more sign that I am getting old ... I HATE the mall.
I attempted to shopping today with my mother. Had all the intention in the world of getting some Christmas gifts. I should have known what I was in for when I could not find a parking space closer than a half of a mile away. I ended up parking my little jetta between two ginormous suv's (which would prove to be a mistake later). Upon entering the mall I was assulted by an overwhelming fog of cologne and perfume. As I broke my way through the cloud of odors, I stopped in my tracks. In front of me, spread out like a heard of giggling, unkempt, twittery birds, was about 100 teenagers. "Aha!" I said to myself, as I had just discovered the source of the horrible smells I had encountered a few seconds earlier. I made my way through that group, only to discover there was no escaping. They were everywhere. Oozing out of Guess, bouncing through BeBe, and milling around Abercrombie. I managed to last long enough to make one purchase and left. Actually making it out of the parking lot unscathed proved to be an adventure in and of itself. Tip: if you have a small car, never ever park it between two of the biggest suv's you have ever seen, being able to see is very important when trying to back your car out of a parking spot in a very busy mall parking lot. especially when most of the other cars in that mall parking lot are driven by young boys and girls with cars full of other young boys and girls, all of them on the phone and listening to music that is loud enough to be heard 3 states over.
Oh, and lets not forget what those young girls and boys look like. What is it with the rough whore look? Too tan, too blonde, clothes too tight, too much makeup. They look horrible! The boys aren't much better -- get a damn haircut! or at least wash it.
Ok, I think I am done now...